Hello, 2021! Goodbye, 2020… What a year! For the majority of people, it was a very emotional year. There were many “new normals” that didn’t seem “normal” at all. There was a lot of pain, loss, sadness, even anger. It is hard to be happy, excited, and move forward when there is so much suffering. The only way this year will be different is if we can find the strength within ourselves to be the change we want to see in our homes, community, and the world.

I’ve never been one to think “everything happens for a reason.” Actually, when others would say this to me, I used to find it very upsetting. Now I understand they usually meant well or just did not know what else to say. I have come to realize that there are gifts in the dark moments of our lives. Some of those dark moments are just too hard for my brain to wrap around “being for a reason.”

Female model stretching in bed signifying the detox in the story

I do believe we cannot see the light without the dark, feel bliss without pain, or love without loss. I didn’t always feel this way, and I understand if you do not either. For this reason, I highly recommend the book When Bad Things Happen to Good People by Harold S. Kushner.

This book really helped shift my perspective. Sometimes bad things do just happen. Unfortunately, it’s easier to blame them on someone or something and be mad than to understand that it just is what it is. I’ve also learned when someone is going through something challenging or a difficult life change, the best thing I can do is say, “I am sorry.” No judgment, just unconditional love. It is only possible to do this for others if we do this for ourselves first. Make peace with anything holding you back and dive deep into what makes you perfectly imperfect.

The questions below will guide you. If you don’t know the answers right now, that’s okay. Keep asking these questions and the answers will come to you.

What makes you, YOU?
Who are you?
Who do you want to be?
What makes you happy?
What are your unique gifts?
What is your purpose in life?

Only when we understand ourselves can we help, serve, and give back to others in all we do, even within our own homes and family. 2020 definitely taught us we do not control everything around us and anything can change in a moment, but, no matter what, you are still you. It’s important to love the person you are.

If we dwell on the past, we increase our risk of becoming depressed; if we are fearful of the future, we have an increased risk of anxiety—both are not good for our overall health. We must change our perspective and honor the tough life lessons. Only then can we find peace within ourselves.

We only truly have this moment in time, and we can choose to be happy or unhappy—both take the same amount of energy, so let’s try to be happy. If you have areas you are unhappy about that you are in control of, make those changes. When I teach mindfulness techniques, I always ask the question, “If today was your last day on earth, what do you already have that you are so thankful for?” The answers are usually very basic and simple, not complex.

This helps us feel relieved about what we already have and reduces feeling alarmed about “what ifs.” If you are unsure about what you are relieved to already have, write a list. You might be pleasantly surprised by all that you already have.

Being warm, kind, loving, and positive toward ourselves helps us be optimistic, hopeful, and excited, instead of dreading what might happen. When we love ourselves, it shows—we glow, and our future looks so much brighter and more beautiful with an abundance of opportunities.

So, let’s start detoxifying your life: mind, body, and soul! Now take a moment to breathe. Be open to creating change. Fill your heart with love. If this is hard to do, know you are not alone and try again. Open up to being the best version of you because you are worth it.

Detoxifying Your Mind

Change what you say to yourself daily.

We all converse within—make sure you are encouraging yourself. What we say, we become. What we tell ourselves, we will see all around us. Create new sentences that reflect how you want to feel, even if in the moment you feel differently. The words or sentences you repeat about yourself should make you feel exhilarated and shift your mindset quickly.

Example: When you tell yourself negative thoughts, it will manifest in negative feelings and create a trickle-down effect on your overall well-being. So, find sentences to repeat that resonate with you—not others, you. When I feel fearful, I repeat, “I am love. I see with love. I hold all my experiences up with love.”

Start the day on a positive tone.

What is the first thing you see and do in the morning? Our environments and habits can impact our mindset. Start by looking around where you sleep. Pay attention to what you do when you wake up. These are areas we can change. Let the first thing you see and do be an empowering message to your brain that represents how you want your days to be.

Example: If you immediately start working, answering texts, or getting on social media when you wake up in the morning, you’ll likely start your day off stressed. So, replace it with anything that makes you want to jump out of bed to take on the day in a positive way.

Be mindful of your surroundings.

That means be careful what you watch, who you are around, and anything that does not make you feel good. This can be hard because our egos and stubbornness can get in the way. We can get caught up on how others will view us, but we must listen to how it makes us feel in our mind and deep down in our gut. If it doesn’t feel right, it probably isn’t.

Example: There are times you cannot watch TV, be on social media, and/or even be around certain environments without it affecting you. However, you might not be able to cut out everything that doesn’t make you feel good. So, slowly start making changes where you can.

Notice what makes you feel good versus bad.

Those are signals guiding us. Most of us are just too busy, tired, or preoccupied to listen. When we do not listen to what our mind is telling us, it will show up in our bodies and eventually drain our soul. If you feel a negative pull, stop, acknowledge it, and take note. At a minimum, we can change the way we view something and start creating small changes within.

Example: You start doing something with the intention of improving your health. Others seem to enjoy it, but it just never feels right to you even after giving it an honest try. What works for someone else may not work for you. So, move forward and try something different, instead of going in circles.

Detoxifying Your Body

Most of us know what to do, but it can be hard to make health a priority. It is so important that you find the time to move your body, get adequate sleep, breathe, restore daily, and eat a healthy, balanced diet. In my experience, food can be a constant struggle. Below are a few of my favorite recipes to reset my body and feel good from the inside out. Use them as guidelines. Have fun with them. Eliminate or add items based on your dietary needs, consistency, and taste preferences. Always talk to your doctor if you have questions.

Lemon Honey Aloe Vera Juice

Serves 1

Ingredients

1½ cups aloe vera gel

2 cups water

4 tsps. honey

1 lemon

Add it all in the blender, blend, refrigerate, and enjoy! Aloe vera is seasonal. One of my favorite aloe vera gel brands, typically available all year long, is Lily of the Desert Aloe Vera Whole Leaf (filtered).

Health benefits of aloe vera include: support healthy digestion, produce anti-inflammatory action, possess anti-aging effects and wound healing properties. Aloe vera can have a strong laxative effect, so be careful. If you grow your own aloe vera plant, make sure you research how to use gel from the aloe vera leaf.

Superfood Salad

Serves 2

Ingredients

2 cups spinach, leafy greens, or shredded slaw mix

¾ cup whole grains, quinoa, brown rice, or sweet potato

½ cup of berries, green apples, or raisins

½ cup of legumes or beans

½ cup of nuts and seeds

To assemble the salad, first select your preferred greens base, adding it to a mixing bowl large enough to toss all the ingredients in. Next, add in your grain of choice, followed by the fruit, legumes or beans, and, finally, the nuts and seeds. Use this formula as a rough outline for Superfood Salad variations.

Easy Detox Dressing

Serves 2

Ingredients

2½ tbs. olive oil

1½ tbs. apple cider vinegar

Lemon juice and black pepper to taste.

Emulsify the olive oil and apple cider vinegar together. Whisk in lemon juice and black pepper to your desired taste. Assemble the Superfood Salad with the Easy Detox Dressing. I like my salads moist, so I refrigerate it all after mixing. You can always wait to drizzle until you are ready to eat.

Health benefits of superfoods include: abundance in vitamins and minerals, improves heart health, and increases energy. This is a lot of superfoods, which, for some of us, can be hard to digest. If you are unsure, start with just a few ingredients and add in or take out items depending on how you feel or respond to them.

Detoxifying Your Soul

Be self-full! Which means be clear about who you are and honor that person, instead of who you think you should be. This is different than being selfish, which means you are thinking only of yourself with no regard for others. Knowing the difference between the two is important. We must give to ourselves first, otherwise we do not have the energy for others. Trust me—I’ve tried to be everything to everyone, which made me no one to anyone. Even your family, significant other, and children or grandchildren will feel your unhappiness. Actions always speak louder than words.

Pray, meditate, connect with nature, find a creative expression, laugh so hard your stomach hurts, and spend time with like-minded people. This is where community can be really important. We have an internal need to feel connected to others, to be understood, loved, not judged, and to be allowed to show up exactly as we are. Find places, people, groups, and clubs that you like to fill up your soul cup.

It’s okay to be angry, mad, sad, and to cry. You just don’t want this to be the norm, which would quickly mean it’s gone from healthy to unhealthy. There are times we need to blast our favorite song, watch a sad movie, or just have a good cry. It can help us move on from things weighing us down. Never hesitate to seek help from a trusted friend or loving family member. Always seek immediate medical attention from a specialist if you want to hurt yourself or others.

Be a baby. Babies are pure innocence. They just keep it simple—eat, sleep, poop, pee, play, repeat. Even holding a baby can soothe the soul. Time feels like it stops, and, in those moments, all is good around us and within us. Thoughts do not define babies until we as adults start programming the meaning of the world around them.

Don’t you ever wonder at what age it was that people’s words started defining who we are? When words replaced all that joy, space to explore, safety, and peace within us? We still deserve this, so take it back. It’s yours.

If you are having a hard time in any of these areas, find a way to keep yourself accountable, motivated, and excited. Write out your goals. Chart your health achievements. Download a health app. Join an online program or group. Enlist a friend you will not cancel on. Talk to your doctor. Hire a health coach, nutritionist, or fitness trainer.

It is not all or nothing. Don’t give up. But if after 30 days you do not feel a difference, try something new. With patience, awareness, and mindfulness you will find your groove. Then, continue doing what works for you. Healthy lifestyle changes will add up to big results. Stay focused, find yourself, and always be true to you.

You got this!