A Modern Approach to Etiquette

Entertaining at home is one of life’s greatest pleasures. Although I miss having the time to create more lavish parties, I relish this season with young children and am learning to embrace a more casual and spontaneous entertaining style. Take-out pizza has replaced caterers and full bars have given way to self-serve stations, but my core beliefs remain:

Party with Purpose. Delight the Senses. Cultivate Connection.

Party with Purpose

When I’m itching to host a party, I ponder a purpose. It could be a fall fête, a Friendsgiving dinner, or a neighborhood gathering to celebrate the opening of Christmas Tree Lane during the holidays. Whatever the reason, whatever the season, find a purpose and make a plan. Seasoned hosts understand that planning is the key to a party’s success: planning and practice.

My tip:

Create an inspiration board with images that evoke the feeling you want your guests to experience. Walk through the event in your mind to imagine how your guests will arrive, where they will gather, how they will transition, etc. Then develop a detailed timeline. I love lists because they take the guesswork and worry out of entertaining. As a former event planner, I anticipate that something will go wrong; therefore, I plan and prepare so that I can pivot at a moment’s notice.

Delight the Senses

Your guests’ first impression isn’t when they walk through your door; it is their first glimpse of the save the date or invitation. Whether it’s a Paperless Post email or a hand-delivered engraved card, your correspondence sets the tone for what’s to come and contributes to the excitement and anticipation. An event is a sensory experience. Consider how you will spark your guests’ senses. What visuals will they see? What music will fill their ears? What are the first flavors they will taste? How will you continue to surprise and delight them throughout the evening? A good party is one that guests don’t want to end!

My tip:

Hosting can seem overwhelming, so focus on what you do well and simplify the rest. I don’t cook, so I unabashedly hire help or source take-out. Favorites from local restaurants served hot on my platters are still favorites! I know that my family and friends love gathering over any type of meal, so I focus my attention on doing what I enjoy—setting a beautiful table with my china or festive paperware and a bounty of floral arrangements and festive décor.

Cultivate Connection

People mistakenly believe that guests remember the food that was served or the flowers that adorned the tables. What guests will undoubtedly recall is how they felt. And that feeling really has less to do with the delectable bites and glorious tablescapes, but has everything to do with the conversations had and the connections made. That’s what transforms party moments into lasting memories.

My tip:

Carefully curate a guest list that sparks friendships and inspires lasting connections. Include interesting friends, old and new. Be creative and intentional with seating arrangements to encourage mingling. And what do you ask of your guests? That they bring energy, charm, and wit to the party. Because, after all, seeing your guests having fun is what entertaining is all about.

Like my etiquette courses, I describe my entertaining style as a fresh take on the traditional. I embrace classic elegance while leaning into what’s en vogue. My goal for my clients is to feel competent and confident in everything they do!

At its heart, the purpose of etiquette is to connect, which begins with conversation. To connect with Chiara Riggs Sill, Founder of Etiquette Moderne, visit www.etiquettemoderne.com

Features Contributor Chiara Riggs Sill, Founder of Etiquette Moderne
Photographer Ellie Koleen

Ellie Koleen

Photographer

Ellie is a lifestyle, wedding, and brand photographer based in Fresno, California. An artist behind the lens, her trademark airy, light-filled style and masterful camera angles make her work easily recognizable. She uses her love for all things design related as inspiration for her work, and you can find her traveling any opportunity she gets to capture stories for her clients. Over the last four years, The Fresno Bee has named Ellie Best Photographer for the People’s Choice Awards.