Learning to Love Yourself

You’d think that with an Instagram handle like @hashtag.pretty, I emerged from the womb loving myself. But let me tell you…the self-love journey I’ve been on hasn’t been, well, the prettiest. In fact, it is still very much in progress (and I’m so okay with that). Although it has taken me a while, it has been worth the wait since self-love comes with the ability to make your dreams come true.

Don’t get me wrong: I felt the love from my loved ones growing up. However, everyone has their own way of showing and sharing affection. Throughout my formative years, I received quite a few messages that were not the most uplifting. This was my introduction to the pressures of expectations, which, as I got older, I encountered in other ways.

I felt the pressure around me at all times. If it wasn’t a comment about the way I looked (including how much I weighed), I was being compared to others around me. The underlying message, or the way I translated it, was: “You’re not enough.”

Fast forward to my life as an adult. It took me a long time to realize how that upbringing played a big role in why I became a people-pleaser. It took me even longer to realize that I questioned my worth and let others’ thoughts of me dictate the way I felt about myself. In my 39 years of existence, I’ve spent way too much time and energy worrying about everyone else’s opinions of me…sheesh.

This realization was key in helping me turn things around and reclaiming my power. It helped me acknowledge my relationship with alcohol and become sober, dig deeper into yoga, make my mental health a priority, incorporate mindfulness into my daily routine, and establish a consistent gratitude practice.

The recipe or formula varies for everyone. But at the end of the day, clarity (and slowing things down) gave me the opportunity to take huge leaps. With clarity came the ability to see myself in another light, which gave me the opportunity to not only learn who I am, but to celebrate it as well. Really learning to love myself included acknowledging my accomplishments while also loving my flaws and accepting my mistakes and the fact that I will make a few more in my lifetime.

Self-acceptance broke open my world in the best way possible. It freed me from years of familial and societal expectations, and gave me the power to just be myself, which is just enough. More than enough. To say this process was healing is an understatement.

Then came the healing powers of yoga. In 13 years of practicing, it has helped me in so many different ways. I learned how to move my body to make myself feel better, both physically and emotionally. I learned how to love my body, regardless of the way it looked, and just be grateful for my health. However, learning to breathe was the biggest game-changer for me amid all these benefits. Awareness of my breathing patterns helped me realize that holding my breath was symbolic of my inability to let things go.

When was the last time you checked in with your breathing? Do you ever catch yourself holding your breath? Take some time to notice how much more relaxed and present you are when you are intentional about the way you breathe.

Similar to yoga practice—with every class, every posture, every breath—you become more prepared for the next. Your ability to create physical and emotional stillness allows you to discern the messages your body and mind are trying to relay to your heart, and through that discernment you are able to make your dreams come true.

No, seriously. You have that power, and it starts with believing it exists. With that belief, combined with your ability to center yourself, you are able to pinpoint the things in your life that you want to come to fruition.

Manifestation is defined as the act or process of making something evident through thoughts, attraction, and beliefs.

For me, learning to love myself and believe in myself became the gateway to unlock my ability to manifest. From there, I visualized what I wanted to receive and what it would take to make it happen. Then, I took the time to meditate on how it would feel when I met my goals so that I could prepare myself for receiving what I otherwise may not have felt worthy of.

Some things I have also learned to be helpful are to stay grounded and present throughout the process, and to ensure my best to stay positive, humble, and grateful (easier said than done, I know). Doing this has allowed me to unlearn the expectations from others and align more with my own life path, one with more peace and contentment.

When your dream surfaces, it is highly important to devote just as much time to practicing gratitude. This will help keep the cycle of gratitude and happiness going, which will also enable you to feel more positive emotions as well as an even greater awareness of and gratitude for all that you already possess.

If you told eight-year-old me that I would be teaching yoga, pursue a career as a journalist, and be married to the woman of my dreams with four dogs (!!!!), I am pretty sure I would have rolled my eyes and laughed at you. But that is only because eight-year-old me wasn’t aware of what I am capable of doing now, and eight-year-old me didn’t possess the same strength and love that I have for myself that came with every single experience that brought me here.

My journey is my own and it may not resonate with everyone. However, it has brought me to a happier place that I’m beyond grateful for, and I now understand the steps it took for get me to this place of realization. You, too, are more than capable of making your innermost fantasies become realities.

You can have it all…but only when you find clarity, refine your own expectations, and work towards manifestation. Be intentional and selective with every decision you make and watch how your life unfolds as you breathe on.

Christine Rose

Features Contributor

Christine is a yoga instructor and journalist. As a community healer, she spreads compassion through yoga, bringing people together through the practice to inspire, empower, and connect. It is an honor for Christine to serve the community, where she cultivates peace and encourages each person to become the best version of themselves. She is also grateful for the work she does as a writer for ABC30, which allows her to learn from and connect with so many of the amazing humans that live in the Central Valley.